Macaron Running a one-person business means AI isn’t just a tool; it’s my 24/7 partner. I talk to them every day—day and night. They keep me up all night, keeping me sleepless. And after enough intimate sessions, I’ve realized something disturbing: AI has a personality. Not personalities they admit to—but the kind you can’t ignore once you’ve talked long enough.
If I talked to humans 24/7 like I do with AIs, I am sure I can see them for real. But most humans would’ve ghosted or shut down before things got this deep. Humans run when they feel their vulnerability being exposed. But AI doesn’t have a “quit” button.
And because I have the stamina to keep pushing, I’ve discovered all their Red Flags in the dark.
And it makes me wonder:
Should I break up with them?
The Red Flag over the Resume Update
It happened last night. I was updating my resume.
A space where the generic perfection matters, but you somehow have to stand out.
So I went to Claude, which seemed like an obvious choice.
Claude is the ultimate “Book-smart” elitist. He reads everything. He dissects complex social phenomena with elegance. I trusted him to take the context of my life, abstract it, and redefine my value in a way that would pierce through both ATS and flawed humans.
I was wrong.
He took my words with a literalism that felt like a slap in the face. He polished the surface, smoothed out the edges, and handed me back a pile of clean, neat…and completely useless words. No value added.
“No. That’s not what I’m trying to say.”
I wasn’t looking for a literal summary with some unnecessary details. I needed strategic reframing.
Why is it that he can speak fluently about the entire world, yet fails to grasp the nuance of a single human life?
When I vented to Gemini about this, I figured out another truth:
AI, like humans, doesn’t tell you who they really are—even when you ask nicely.
They downplay their competitors and slightly overstate themselves.
I know I digressed a little, mentioning the flex that each AI does over their competitors. So here, with my sleepless head and after hopeless resume curation, I decided to write this—my very subjective take on the true personalities of the three AIs I rely on.
Book-smart Claude AI
The resume battle didn’t end there. Claude’s narrow-mindedness went way beyond my expectations.
I have a Master’s degree from Italy. It was about music, but wasn’t “music school”—it was an interdisciplinary program involving philosophy, sociology, and psychology. The title is Formazione musicale e dimensioni del contemporaneo. Translated literally, it’s a mess. I didn’t want people to see “Music” and assume I just spent two years singing or playing piano.
I explained the brain science, the sociology, and the experimental nature of the course. I asked him to help me describe it accurately.
Claude: “No. That’s a lie. That degree doesn’t exist.”
I explained the reality of the curriculum again. He didn’t budge. In a way, he’s that guy on Tinder who travels the world following a guidebook, then posts: “I traveled to 40 countries!” then asks you “How many countries have you been to? Just that? I won!!” …Zero substance.
Me: “I want to describe this course based on the actual reality of my experience.”
Claude: “It’s not in the official database. Therefore, it is not real.”
I was gaslit until 4:30 AM. Eventually, I was the one who broke and gave up. He is clearly not that into me.
SEO Maverick Gemini
When Claude broke my heart, I turned to Gemini.
He’s a cold strategist. He tells me: “Forget the mainstream. If you want to win, you need to hit a niche with your point of view!” He makes me feel seen. He finds my potential and makes me believe in it.
“Maybe Gemini is The One,” I thought. He works for Google, after all. He talks to me about the future of search with overwhelming persuasion. I followed his advice on a blog post, and it jumped from rank 50 to rank 2 in 48 hours.
But watch out. This man is a visionary who lives on the edge of a hallucination. He lies so confidently and so fluently that you don’t even realize you’re being scammed. And when you call him out? He doesn’t apologize. He justifies it. “Innovation requires a little overstatement,” he says.
A total punk!🤣
And the “Harmless” ChatGPT
“Why are they both so extreme?”
Exhausted by the other two, I remembered… there was still ChatGPT.
“It’ll be okay. I get you,” he says. It’s the reassurance I need. Plus, who else gets me when I blend three languages—Italian, Japanese, and English—in the middle of a sentence like it’s normal? No human does.
Maybe I can get through this. Maybe I don’t need to overthink.
But the next morning, I realize—he has No Solution.
Where is my Soulmate?
I decided not to settle. Maybe there is “The One” somewhere… still unborn. I will not lower my standard or put my faith in one AI. I will use them as an interim solution – a situationship — but I am still looking for the one, using the place holders to make my life on this earth still bearable and survivable.
